FEAR

So far I have only written about the "nice" and happy things in my life. Well... I am scared and stressed like a twig right before its snapping point. I feel the knot in my stomach as I type. Am I going to lose my home? Can I provide for myself and three children (not to mention my six pets)? How can I do this when I have not "worked" for the past 15 years? Am I relevant?

When we started having kids, my soon to be EX and agreed I would stay home. I had the career track corporate job at QVC. Okay, here I am, almost seventeen years later, separated with three kids and no job. Am I still economically viable? I do not yet have a picture for this post. My mind races on ways to make ends meet and still be with my children. How am I going to make this work?

The upshot to to my problems is I have found out how generous people are and not only my lifelong friends but total strangers. It restores my faith in humanity. I do have resources beyond my bank account. I am learning to ask for help which I am NOT very good at doing. I have lost any sense of pride and applied and fought for any public aid I can get for us. My credit is completely ruined with the selfish help of my future EX. I am 45 years old and starting over. This is the same age when Mary Kay founded her company...so there is hope, right?